Russian Mob Wives Rejoice - the Samsung Night Effect is Here!

You may notice that this blog tends to lean towards the more "blinging" phones that make it onto the market, like the LG Prada collaboration a couple of years ago and the more exclusive Nokias.

Personally, I like my handsets functional rather than flashy (hence the monolithic black N95 that I'm still using) but have always had a magpie's taste for the gaudy. This new Samsung has got to be the gaudiest handset on the market, unless anyone out there can suggest anything less conspicuous!

It rather reminds me of my time working for American Express.

American Express launched their black card after years of unfounded rumours that they offered a secret, invite-only card for superwealthy Krug-swilling plutocrats. They cashed in on the speculation and created the Centurion; the most horribly aspirational piece of plastic this side of Victoria Beckham's breasts.

One day, we recieved a memo promoting a new, super-super-luxurious version of their Centurion credit card, known only as "titanium". The gimmick was that the card is made of... titanium. And why hasn't titanium been used to make credit cards in the past? Because it interferes with card readers. And sets off metal detectors. Which makes the Amex Titanium Centurion card less useful than any other Amex card. And who accepts Amex anyway?

The Samsung Night Effect is aiming at the Titanium card users out there - those who take pleasure in pulling out their metallic phallus in front of a large queue at airport security while loudly braying to their equally loathesome, marni-clad friend about how "rad/fab/expensive" their last holiday was.

The phone's USP is that it lights up like Pacha at 4am when it rings.

Seems like the world economic crisis hasn't quite gone far enough yet...

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